Conversation Toolkit for Success: Commitments

For one day, keep track of the time you spend at work in conversation. Count meetings, phone calls, hall way chats, and lunch. Record brief notes about the content, who you spoke with, and the outcome of the interaction. Are you making progress while just talking? Are you satisfied? Maybe.

Businesses are mostly networks of conversations. Seldom do you see anyone doing anything in this information age besides communicating or preparing communications. A chart showing who is communicating with whom and how often would tell you more than the official org chart about the currents that provide the electricity and power in the company. The question is how powerful are the conversations. Are they circular or do they produce effective action?

Begin to notice how often conversations are gossip, complaining, or playing ‘ain?’t it awful’ together. Getting something off your chest and commiserating generate sympathy. But that doesn’t move you forward.

Effective conversations tap into the conversation toolkit, which if used consciously, can change your life. The five tools are commitments, asking for action, making offers, stating facts and evidence, and declarations of beginnings and endings. What’s new about that, you say? What’s new is a closer look at the definitions, the impact, and how we incorporate them in our way of being.

Leaders are you and me. It’s anyone who shows the way. Anyone others will follow. Doesn’t matter the title.

This article addresses commitments. This and future articles cover definitions, impact, and questions for reflection. Each is brief and intended to provoke thinking. All draw from the work of Fernando Flores and Humberto Maturana.

Definition of commitment:
The act of pledging or engaging.

You don’t often hear “I pledge” when someone makes a commitment to deliver in the future. It’s implied. It is worth thinking twice before you cavalierly say you will do something. You are putting your reputation on the line. Do you have the ability, skills, knowledge, interest, motivation, and talent to make that commitment? What is the cost to you? What will you gain?

Impact:
Your commitment sets things in motion. Someone else can take actions that he couldn’t take before. He can schedule meetings, order materials, notify others, or cancel another appointment all based on the expectation that you will deliver.

Commitments make or break trust. If kept, you build trust. If broken, tension and distrust grow. Do we have to renege occasionally? Sure and that’s okay if we apologize, have legitimate reasons (not excuses), notify others as soon as possible, and offer to make amends.

Commitments polish or tarnish your reputation. Keeping your promise generates a reputation of dependability, sincerity, and competence. Breaking your promise makes a person think twice about doing business with you again.

Questions for reflection:


  • Do I stand behind my commitments?

  • Do I consider a request or directive thoroughly before making a commitment, thinking about all the possible contingencies that might get in the way of meeting my pledge?

  • Do I renegotiate the commitment if I discover new information that says that I cannot deliver what I promised or within the timeframe that I agreed to?

  • Do I apologize if I am unable to deliver? And do I offer to do something else instead to make amends?

  • Where have I eroded trust by not delivering on my commitments? How can I rebuild trust?

  • Am I able to say no to requests? Am I making promises that I know I can’t deliver?

  • What will I be asked to commit to in the near future? What promises am I willing/unwilling to make?

  • Do I pay attention to what my emotions and my body sensations tell me about a possible commitment? Do I hear myself saying yes, when my body and emotions are saying no?

  • If I commit to this, what will I have to give up? Other more attractive possibilities?


Watch for the next article (Part 2) on Asking for Help.

Meg Ellis Conversation Toolkit, Executive Coaching



2 Comments »

  1. 1. andres wrote:

    white text on blue blackground is unreadable.

    February 2, 2007 @ 2:03 am (comment)

  2. 2. Meg Ellis wrote:

    Thanks for the alert. I think it’s fixed. Do come visit again.
    Meg

    February 3, 2007 @ 2:25 pm (comment)

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