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Your Body and Coaching: Try Walking…
Much has been written about the importance of coordination of mind (expressed through language), body, and emotions in being effective in your professional and personal life.
The body is the focus here. Not how tall, how short, or how fit you are, but about how you hold your body and how it supports or undermines your efforts to be successful.
It would seem obvious that we are aware of our bodies, but that is not always true. For instance, after a challenging day leading a group, I have noticed that my thighs ache indicating that I’ve tensed them during the day to keep my balance and focus. I was not “in my body” while facilitating. It’s only in the last few years, that I’ve begun to learn and practice postures that help me achieve what I deem important.
Ancient wisdom highlights the sequence of “be-do-have” in orientation to the world. First, be aware of and develop who you are, then act out of that center, to eventually create or have the life you want. Too often in our culture, we do that in reverse.
Have. We focus on what we want to have: money, nice home, promotion, a partner. Given that, we “do”, taking actions that hopefully lead to having what we desire. Sign up with match.com, take on the new assignment, put ourselves in debt to have the motorcycle, second home, fine apparel. Lastly we might focus on our being, who we are. How do we “be” in life? I’m as guilty as the next person for having be-do-have out of order, but less so than I was 10 years ago.
The focus here is on how we “be” in our bodies to support what we “do” to “have” what we want.
Following are somatic distinctions, connections to Interaction Styles and possible ways of being, and ending with simple exercises to make the postures and their benefits yours.
Somatic Distinctions
While there are many many ways you might want to show up in the world, I’ll focus on 4 key variations plus 1 transitional posture that allows for a shift from one to another.
Stability is the right posture for “being steady as you go”, with a focused, step-by-step approach toward a specified goal.
For instance, writing this article means that I need to stay seated, focus on this one task, and complete what I intend to in this sitting in this time span. That’s a challenge when email messages catch my attention, my husband working in the office next door has a comment, the phone rings, or a random thought sets me off in search of website.
Walking in Stability has these properties. Walking with a steady gait, each step the same size as the last one. Walking not too fast nor slowly. Looking ahead many yards, eyes level, eyes looking forward. Eyes focused on a destination. Arms swinging steadily like a pendulum.
Stability is often the walk of the Chart-the-Course Interaction Style (INTJ, INFJ, ISTP, ISTJ). This makes sense because CTC folks have an end goal in mind and the plan to get there. As long as they are on the plan, they are making progress.
Determination
Determination is the appropriate posture when you are, hello, determined to get the job done come hell or high water. The energy is on completion of the task as quickly as possible.
This is where I live primarily, determined to check things off my list, to get as much accomplished in a day as possible. I’m lost if my plate is not full for a day. On vacation, I’m determined to lay back and enjoy whatever presents itself.
The Determination walk: The person walks quickly, leaning slightly forward or very upright, looking ahead and slightly down. Their focus is more immediate than in the stability walk. Imagine someone headed for the bathroom without a lot of time to spare. That’s what it looks like.
Sitting posture is leaning forward, steady intense eye contact, quick speaking, and goal oriented.
The body of Determination naturally belongs to the In-Charge Interaction Style (ENTJ, ENFJ, ESTJ, ESTP). Their goal is to get an achievable result. It may not be the most perfect but it gets the job done quickly so you can go to the next task.
Openness
Open to what? New ideas, new opportunities, new input, more information.
Open sitting posture is leaning slightly back, arms open to the side, soft gaze, observing all input.
The walk is a slow gait, arms swinging slightly, eyes slowly moving around taking in everything to the sides and in front.
Openness is aligned with Behind-the-Scenes Interaction Style (INTP, INFP, ISFP, ISFJ). It’s a natural fit for someone intent on creating the best possible solution. That takes time. That takes considering other’s input, researching information, seeing how things are integrated, and more.
Flexibility
Flexibility implies going with the flow of ideas, with other’s thoughts, changing strategies and actions to include multiple people and inputs. Think easy-going.
The Flexibility walk. Walk with a bounce in your step. Look all around and notice people and opportunities. Smile to invite others to join you. Say hello along the way. Deviate from the straight line, linger to chat rather than make a beeline for the final destination.
Sit where you can see what’s going on. Look around often. Wander around the office to see what’s up. Smile, talk to people.
This posture is familiar to Get-Things-Going Interaction Style (ENTP, ENFP, ESFP, ESFJ). If your goal is an embraced results you’ll be focused on others, making sure they want to pursue the same goals. You’ll want to have collaborative decisions so all will be on board. You will build relationships that support the work to be done. Or not!
Centered Position
It’s challenging to switch from one way of being and/or holding your body to another without a neutral space or posture. A space to notice where you are “living” at the moment and then choose the posture to assume to make it easier for you to be stable, or determined, or open, or flexible.
This is not a walk. Stand still and erect. Relax your body, let go of the tension, lower your shoulders, soften your gaze. Breathe. Choose.
Exercises and Practices
You may have recognized your automatic way of being by now. You may wonder why you’d want to change. Living in one way of holding your body precludes others and limits your own ability to access other ways of being necessary to your success. Begin with these simple exercises to expand your opportunities.
- Walk for a half hour or more switching from between ways of walking. Doesn’t matter where you start. I recommend you walk each walk for 1/4 of the time.
- Notice which feels familiar and comfortable. Notice which walks bore you or feel most alien. Notice which one you don’t want to continue. Notice which one you default to when you forget that you are doing an exercise. Clearly the familiar one tells you something about your orientation. The alien walk gives you an idea of what you don’t have access to.
- Centered Presence. Thank Stuart Heller and his book Retooling on the Run for this exercise.
- Stand.
- Become aware of your feet touching the ground.
- Notice your legs.
- Become aware of your hands.
- Notice your arms.
- Become aware of your head. Feel it atop your spine.
- Notice your spine.
- Breathe.
- Think: I have feet and legs. I have hands and arms. I have a head and a spine. I breathe.
- Notice if you feel more centered, more capable of making choices about how to be next.
Reflection Consider these questions to become the leader you want to be.
- How would being in determination contribute to your success?
- Where do you need to be focused on getting something done quickly?
- Where do you want to demonstrate confidence and quick action?
- How would being in stability contribute to your success?
- Where do you need to stick with a task until completion?
- Where do you need to be seen as thoughtful and dependable?
- How would being in openness contribute to your success?
- Where do you need to take in more sources of information?
- How would integrating multiple inputs contribute to a quality product?
- How would being in flexibility contribute to your success?
- Who else needs to be included in your thinking and decision-making process?
- Where would collaboration be of benefit?
- Which stance would be most beneficial to you now?
- Do you pause and consider your best approach?
- Can you move to another way of being?
- Are you conscious of being primarily in one?
There are many more ways to learn about the contributions of our body. I have attended and recommend the program Leveraging the Non-Verbal designed and facilitated by Stuart Heller. I am also indebted to Newfield Network for my education in ontological coaching.
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