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Your Body and Coaching: Try Walking…
Much has been written about the importance of coordination of mind (expressed through language), body, and emotions in being effective in your professional and personal life.
The body is the focus here. Not how tall, how short, or how fit you are, but about how you hold your body and how it supports or undermines your efforts to be successful.
It would seem obvious that we are aware of our bodies, but that is not always true. For instance, after a challenging day leading a group, I have noticed that my thighs ache indicating that I’ve tensed them during the day to keep my balance and focus. I was not “in my body” while facilitating. It’s only in the last few years, that I’ve begun to learn and practice postures that help me achieve what I deem important.
(more…)Myers-Briggs® Type Theory and the Enneagram
I participated in a weekend introduction to the Enneagram, an ancient typology that dates back to early Sufi’s and popularized by Russian Georges Ivanovitch Gurdjieff in the early 1900s. I’ve read books, discussed it with knowledgeable colleagues, been to a one-day workshop on how Myers-Briggs® and the Enneagram work together, taken tests on the web to identify my Enneagram type, all to no avail. I continued to sort between 2 (Giver), 3 (Performer), and 9 (Mediator).
(more…)Ontological Coaching
Ontological Coaching is an approach to exploring the coachee’s way of being. Who is this person who has coped successfully until now yet has run into areas where help is needed?
An ontological coach helps the client to consider who she is by the language she uses, the emotions and moods she lives, and in the way her body supports her in living the life she strives for. We do have the ability to change and grow and much of that depends on her choices.
There is no denying that clients are looking for the tools, skills, and processes to be more effective in their lives. In other words, they seek new behaviors to help them achieve a higher order of satisfaction both professionally and personally. These are necessary ingredients of the coaching toolkit.
These behaviors can be found in many books or modeled by others they know or taught in leadership and management programs. They are available.
What prevents people from incorporating the beneficial behaviors is how they see the world. For instance, if you see the world as hostile, you would become equipped for battle. If you see yourself as incompetent, you are less likely to promote yourself.
While language has for eons been considered a tool to define the world so we share a common vocabulary, it is also a tool for crafting the life we wish to lead. We need the distinctions language gives us so we understand our universe better.
Language also creates new worlds. There are 5 categories of speech that we examine. These are requests, offers, promises, assertions, and declarations. Briefly, requests make it possible for us to gain support. Offers are ways to extend our contributions to others and the world. Promises are commitments to take action. Assertions are facts and evidence to ground our statements. Declarations set the context for future action. “You’re hired” shifts the world for both the manager and the new person coming on board.
One huge area for exploration are our assessments (rather than facts) of a situation, a person, or ourself. We often just plain make stuff up about what a person meant or what caliber of individual someone is. We just might be wrong. If we assess that someone is not dependable based on limited information, we might bypass an opportunity to work with someone who really is just the person you needed for a project.
Clients, and me too, benefit from exploring which we do too much of, to little of, or too poorly.
Emotions and moods determine what we are motivated to do or to avoid. We can change those moods. We need not be at the affect of them.
Leaders must pay attention to others’ moods and address them in order have more motivated people on the job.
Our body either works for or against us as we broadcast our moods or emotions, our intentions, our ideas, our confidence, our credibility, our caring. Try telling someone how excited and enthused you are sitting slumped in a chair with your eyes looking down. You can’t. People are stumped. Should they believe the message in the words or in the body? They’ll choose the one they want to believe and be disappointed later.
Once the body, language, and emotions are congruent, then the tools and new behaviors, tools, or skills can be incorporated easily. Otherwise they are only spray paint that makes you look good temporarily. The structure has not been prepared to maintain the new paing.
360 Assessments
I work with organizations to design and develop the instrument, coordinate the process, and deliver the 360 reports. Facilitating 360 feedback workshops for groups has proven to be effective as managers engage in structured conversation to integrate the information and make plans for going forward.
20/20 Insight created by Performance Support Systems is my preferred tool. It is the most flexible, usable, customizable, and affordable survey I’ve found.
Clients can use a standard set of leadership, management, team, consultant, or individual competency sets. You can also select only those relevant to your needs, change items that use your vocabulary, or design entirely new competencies.
Most instruments list a leadership competency followed by several behaviors that fall in that category. When raters give a number from 1-5 (best to worst) on the resulting paragraph, you can’t tell which specific behavior is being assessed. Did the rater give a 3 meaning that some of the behaviors were good, some bad? Or did it mean that all the behaviors listed were average?
The survey is available via the web, paper, or email.
Reports can be customized in many ways. Multiple scales for rating are available (satisfaction, performance, importance, etc.). Raters can add comments after each item in addition to the numerical rating. Open-ended questions can be added at the end of the survey to gather general comments from raters.
360s work when: *There is a climate of trust in the organization *The results are used for development not for ranking, pay, or promotion *The competencies are approved by representatives of the group being rated *The raters are introduced to effective ways to give feedback *Those rated (subjects) are given one or more ways to improve such as tools, processes, mentoring, and coaching. *Those rated are provided guidance in how to let their raters know what they learned and what they will do with that information.
Studies show that if the person rated says nothing after getting her results, the raters estimation of them diminishes. If she says she is working on improving and, in fact, she is working on it, she goes up in their estimation even if nothing has changed.
Please contact me to discuss if 360 is an viable option for you.
Interaction Styles
Check out this new model by Linda Berens, Ph.D. founder of Temperament Research Institute.
The Interaction Styles model describes 4 patterns of communicating when interacting with others.
The beauty of this model is that it is easy to introduce, easily understood and explains the typical ways that we communicate when trying to influence others or get things done. *I’ve used this successfully with teams* to clear up misunderstandings and frustrations with how others approach communication. It’s non-threatening and does not have that feared “touchy-feely” component that some clients are wary of.
The four style patterns are In-Charge, Get-Things-Going, Behind-the-Scenes, and Chart-the-Course. Right off the bat you probably relate to one more than others. And certainly know which one you aren’t. There is much more to learn beyond the styles monikers.
When determining your Interaction Style you explore which side of three dimensions you prefer. We may do both, but one aspect is more a default position, the other learned.
Directing/Informing: Do you commonly tell, urge, or direct others to take action? Are you focused on getting results and the timeframe you have? OR Do you ask about their views and/or provide information so they can make a choice based on the options? Are you interested in people and their being motivated to do whatever it is?
Initiating/Responding: Do you begin the conversation, bring up the topic, introduce yourself to people? OR do you decide if you want to interact with some who approaches you? Are you content to wait for someone to seek your input?
Control/Movement
Some styles are focused in controlling the result, getting it done in a timely fashion. Others are content as long as progress is being made to the end goal.
Discovering the strengths and limitations of your style can clear up confusion around why your automatic approach used with the best of intentions sometimes backfires. You’ll learn why others’ feathers are ruffled. You can also learn different approaches that will increase your chances of success with the other 3 styles.
Interaction Styles is a perfect companion piece and an added dimension to understanding yourself through the Myers-Briggs 16 types, such as ESTJ, INFP, ESFP, ENTJ, etc. Four of the 16 possible types fit into each of the Styles. I won’t give away the answer. Better to discover your fit first. You can introduce this model without ever referring to Myers-Briggs. It stands alone quite well.
Intro to the FIRO-B
Understanding your interpersonal needs can help you be more effective one-to-one and in groups.
The FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior) is a personality instrument that can profoundly increase your understanding of the interpersonal needs of yourself and others. This understanding can help you to be more effective as a leader, to bring out the best in others, and to deal more effectively with interpersonal issues.
The FIRO-B is specifically concerned with our interpersonal needs, how we show up in our one-to-one relationships, and in groups. The FIRO-B provides insights into issues of organizational culture and team dynamics. This makes it especially valuable for leaders and team members.
Like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the FIRO-B is an effective tool for:
- Personal mastery
- Executive coaching
- Team performance
- Sales effectiveness
- Problem solving
- Organizational development
The FIRO-B was developed by Will Schutz, Ph.D. Schutz theorized that each of us has unique interpersonal needs that strongly effect our behaviors. He identified three areas of interpersonal needs:
Inclusion
The need to include others, and the need for attraction, contact, and recognition from others. Inclusion is about you in relation to a group, whether large or small.Control
The need for influence and responsibility, and the desire to be led and influenced by others. Control is about both one-to-one relationships and about group behavior. It indicates your relative needs for leading and following.Affection
How close and warm you are toward others, and how much closeness and warmth you seek from others. Affection is about one-to-one relationships, and reflects your comfort level with openness.Each of these areas is measured along two dimensions:
Expressed
The degree to which you prefer to initiate, or express, the behavior.Wanted
The degree to which you prefer others to initiate the behavior toward you.The FIRO-B yields six basic scores: an expressed score for each dimension (inclusion, control, and affection), and a wanted score for each dimension. In addition, there are total scores for each of the three dimensions, a total expressed behavior score, a total wanted behavior score, and an overall need score.
The information provided by the FIRO-B can be illuminating for individuals, teams, and organizations.
Organizational culture is a reflection of the interpersonal needs of everyone in the organization, especially the leaders. For example, an organization that emphasizes control may be more hierarchical, encourage competition between individuals and departments, have clear policies and procedures, and be more decisive. An individual, or a team, with a low wanted control score may find it difficult to fit in. Their need for flexibility, adaptability, cooperation, autonomy, and negotiation might be frustrated by the prevailing culture.
The FIRO-B is a much richer, and incredibly more useful, model than might be suggested from this brief introduction. To learn more about the FIRO-B, visit the publisher, CPP.